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TRUE TALES FROM THE SIDE SHOW: A True Lady - Trickle of Consciousness
From the estate of Delilah Dimples, a letter signed by esteemed philanthropist Mr. TL Duncan...

Please forgive my prattle, but I feel I might only explain this letter by explaining, however briefly, myself. My entire life has been a polite one, filled with rules and expectations and, as you might imagine, a dearth of pleasure.

Most would find my complaints trite. Born with the right pedigree and a strong jaw line and, not incidentally, a healthy bank account, I have lived a life of privilege. The best food, the best clothes, the best women. Or so everyone kept telling me. Especially as concerned the women.

I must admit, however, that I rarely enjoyed their company. Certainly the women in my life had the same advantages as I. Surely they took great pains to show this, as well. Their waists were all cinched until they most closely resembled a wasp, the better to fit into their expensive clothing, tailored as it is to the barest inch for breathing.

We ate at the finest restaurants. Or, rather, I ate, and they nibbled daintily at the edges of painstakingly-groomed salads, sipped at their water with their tiny pinkies raised just so. They tittered coyly at my jokes, though never too loudly least they seem unladylike.

Good Lord above, but I cannot imagine my evenings being any more tedious. Each of them a waist-cinched and coiffured copy of the other, such that I admit there was more than one evening when I quite forgot the name of the lady I was with. But this seemed to be what the world expected, and I followed along like the obedient child I was.

Then my cohorts insisted on a night of the exotic, and I came along more because this was what men of the world did, on occasion, was it not? I stifled my yawn and prepared for the worst.

But then I saw you, my dearest Miss Dimples. In one glance, I knew my pathetic life of drips and drabs for what it was, as in you I saw what I had so long lacked: A woman who looked at the world and was not content to nibble on the edges of life, but who sought out the delights in this world and vowed to experience them fully and completely and with reckless abandon.

My cynicism fell away, and all those poets I once mocked for writing about love at first sight suddenly became the chroniclers of my soul. For, indeed, I must tell you with no equivocation that I love you with every fiber of my being. God knows such a proclamation is surely forward and brash, but if I have learned nothing else from you this night, it is the importance of embracing the delights of this world without care for what polite society might have to say about them.

So I declare my love and devotion, here and now and always. Marry me or use and discard me, only please allow that you will meet me. If only once, I long to bask in the presence of a woman of true and honest substance, a lover of this life and all the joys it carries within it.

Grant me this smallest of pleasures, and I can promise you I will forever treasure it, more than my name or my money or the jewels I might buy, and certainly more than a hundred nibbling, "proper" ladies.

Discover more of "Dolly Dimples" and the Side Show now through May 5 at The Players Theatre!

Previous entries in the series:
The Fortune Teller
The Cannibal King
In the Blood
If Witches Worked Curses
His Own Boss

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